Stop Being a Hipster and Go Play Balatro

Remember when it was 2008 to 2012 and Minecraft was blowing up in popularity? Everyone would exclaim:

"This game was made by a handful of devs and it's awesome!"

Those developers were practically millionaires overnight and now Minecraft is on track to be the greatest game of all time.

What does this have to do with Balatro, the poker-themed roguelike? Because it's the same scenario playing out. Balatro isn't just hype. It really is a special game that, like Minecraft, can hook you regardless of taste or background.

According to Wikipedia:

"Over 250,000 copies were sold in the first three days, 500,000 copies in the first ten days,one million within the first month, and two million within the first six months."

That was for the PC release on Steam alone. The first day of its mobile release, it immediately jumped onto the #1 sales spot like the juggernaut it is and continues to hold it.

It is also like Minecraft in the sense that it is an unexpected indie super-hit. Even more impressive is that it has one developer who goes by LocalThunk. One guy made this game that made a million dollars within hours of its release.

So what is Balatro?

Well, that one isn't easy, but I'll try.

-Take 5-Card Stud Poker and make it 8-card Stud instead.

-This is a single-player game, so instead of beating other players' hands, you have scores to beat.

-Cards are scored based on their rank. For instance: a 5 gives you 5 chips (Essentially points). You get extra chips and a better multiplier to your chips for playing better hands (Full House vs 2-of-a-kind, for instance).

-Instead of only getting to discard & redraw once, you get to discard & redraw several times. You also get to play several hands to attempt to accumulate enough chips to beat the score needed.

Now here is where the fun really comes in.

Between blinds (Essentially each game with a score to beat), you get to browse a shop that gives you various randomized options. What options appear and which ones you choose to use or forgo will determine and customize how your run goes (A run is essentially a series of up to 24 games).

What is fun about it is that those options are customization options.

-Buying "Arcana Packs" will give you various options that can bastardize or duplicate the cards in your deck, or even outright destroy them.

-"Standard Packs" allow you to add cards to your deck.

-"Celestial Packs" allow you to increase the chip bonus & multiplier of specific hands. For instance, if you choose an Earth card, it will increase the bonuses that a Full House gives.

-"Spectral Packs" will allow miscellaneous, but powerful things, such as the Cryptid Card that will create two copies of a chosen card and add them to your deck.

-"Buffoon Packs" will offer Joker cards to buy (Jokers explained next).

The one feature in this game that ties all of this together is Jokers.

Jokers in Balatro are essentially passive abilities. They exist outside your deck and can give unique bonuses or abilities to your run. You can only have up to 5 of them (Although certain options taken throughout a run can change or defy that limit).

The kinds of things jokers can do is incredibly varied and there are 150 of them. They can be as simple as the Basic Joker that gives a flat x2 Multiplier. Or something niche, such as Pareidolia Joker that makes all cards count as face cards. That may not sound useful, but there are other jokers that give bonuses to playing face cards, and so joker combo's are a big part of the game.

That is just a crash-course in options you are given. There are a lot more, but I think I have painted a good picture of what to expect. You are given so many options throughout each run that creativity and personal choice are at the forefront of the experience... I suppose, kind of like Minecraft.

As you play more runs, you unlock more options, particularly jokers, and higher difficulties, to keep your runs dynamic and give you a sense of progress.

The resulting replayability of Balatro is incredible. The game hasn't been out a year yet and I have probably already put 100 hours into it... and going. Now that it is on mobile, I can play it at work (*Shhhhh*), so rest-assured that 100 hours is just the beginning.

This game offers the kind of gaming experience that can appeal to anyone. Not in the sense that it is a vapid attraction like some popular games, but in the sense that it defies a genre identity outside of roguelike. It is just a playing-card game like poker, but with extra steps... lots and lots of extra steps.

Stop being such a hipster douche and buy this game. You couldn't possibly regret it, I promise.