Today I asked myself
"If someone asked me why I am a conservative, how would I best explain it to them?".
I spent the next few hours at work pondering this, which led me to realize that I have a story to tell.
You see, I wasn't always a pro-life, grateful to be American, right-winger. In fact, I was a self-declared atheist since 13 years old. By 19 in 2008 I was militant atheist, pro-choice, praised Bill Clinton, and rooted for Barack to win his first term.
So the question now is... What happened over the following decade? It would take a novel-sized work to fully explain that, but I can explain what my biggest breaking points were and the philosophy that was born out of the revelations that followed.
Firstly, I do remain atheist. That hasn't changed. However, my outlook on Christians and their faith has changed from militant to apologist. I still challenge the faith of others to this day, but I do so with a whole different host of intentions now.
The most memorable breaking point for that involved a Zeitgeist video. More specifically, the clip from the Zeitgeist movie outlining alleged similarities between Jesus, Horus, and other deities.
When I was about 21, I shared this clip on social media, along with a boastful lecture about Christianity and its falsity. I was so sure of myself that it's sickening to me now. A friend of mine on social media, who is Christian, ripped into it. So much so that I felt humiliated and betrayed by my own "side". He outlined several lies & half-truths in the video so that the whole thing just falls apart.
The most telling lie of all was their claim that Jesus, Horus, and a host of other deities were born on December 25th. There are a few things wrong with this one simple statement. Firstly, while Jesus' birthday is indeed celebrated on December 25th, there's zero evidence or historical context indicating that he was born anytime but in the springtime. No one really knows the exact month or day, but it's agreed on by theologians that it was most likely around springtime. June being the most popular guess.
It gets worse, as there's also zero evidence that Horus was born... well... at any point in time. Nothing is known about Horus' time of birth. So this claim is egregious to say the least.
There is a LOT more wrong with that clip, but suffice it to say that the whole thing is a package of lies and half-truths. Nothing makes a person question their worldview more than realizing that the "side" they're on is capable of being so dishonest, egregious, and disingenuous.
During that same time period, I was also a fan of a youtuber named The Amazing Atheist. At this point, he had a forum called ThatFatAtheist (Long since defunct). I was a member of this forum for awhile. What was striking to me after awhile was the fact that the forums community wasn't predominantly left-wing. Nor was there a lack of Christian or Jewish representation either. There were people on all sides and of all types. There were liberals, conservatives, atheists, pro-lifers, pro-choicers, libertarians, and so on.
By far, this was the most intellectually powerful community I have ever been part of. Debates were seemingly never just juvenile jabs, ad hominem, and thought-terminating cliches. No, rather, I witnessed every subject being discussed in well-thought-out threads & comments that would make most people leave with "TL;DR". But not these people. More than once, I logged out of it with a shattered worldview.
One specific example was when I started a thread declaring the confederate flag a racist symbol. I was promptly given a long-winded history lesson. To be quite honest, the subject hasn't been relevant enough to me to remember what that history lesson contained. But I certainly recall the revelation that I was in the wrong and subsequently confessing it.
It was about 2015 when I would have my next revelation. I was having a discussion about abortion when the pro-lifer I was debating brought up a stunning question. He said something along these lines.
"You claim to be libertarian, so I'm wondering what kind of libertarian is okay with murder. Libertarians believe that your rights end where another persons rights begin. So I'm curious to hear your argument for how a fetus isn't a person and therefor doesn't have those rights".
I had nothing. I was so focused on the mothers right to bodily autonomy that I never considered whether or not that baby should have its own rights. After much reading on the matter, I conclude today that the fetus is a person and that any conclusion otherwise is built entirely on arbitrary distinctions.
The next revelation wasn't a case of me being wrong. It was a moment of clarity regarding what I had become by 2016. I was having another social media interaction between my Christian friend and his liberal friend. I don't recall the subject, but I remember him saying to me:
"Spare me your right-wing ideology"
At first I rejected it and boasted to my Christian friend that this guy clearly knows little about me. But I spent the whole rest of the day thinking about it and inevitably came to the revelation that I indeed had floated to the right. The only left-wing parts of me remaining were atheism and my disdain for the mega-rich.
As for my current position on the mega-rich, I wouldn't label my feeling disdain anymore. I do however remain unconvinced that most of them didn't accrue their wealth by nefarious and greedy means. I also think they could do more for communities and less meddling in political agenda.
That said. In this year 2019, I am indeed a conservative, America loving, atheist that happens to believe in the positive role that Judaeo-Christian values play in society, in America, and in the world.